Porcelain (Part 5)

commercial hotel courtresy hiawathapics.com

commercial hotel courtresy hiawathapics.com

She did not know that the next morning when she forced herself out of her bed, knowing that staying in it any longer would just cause her mother to come and check on her, worrying away as she always had about Olivia’s health.  She had arrived home after dark, having walked herself back from the hotel after her and Tom had said their goodbyes.  In some way of course she had hoped that he would escort her back to the front door on Shawnee and and say a proper good night, however she sensed quickly that this was not going to happen.  Bidding him a pleasant evening she had taken her leave and walked slowly back, feeling a twisted mixture of exhilaration and loss welling up in her chest.  For whatever the brief encounter had meant to her, or to him, she already knew that it was to be the last.  Maybe the most final statement on that was the simple fact that she had walked herself home.  Once there, and quietly in the door and to bed, Olivia had lain awake for most of the remainder of the night, her mind unwilling to give her an opportunity to rest until five a.m..  Soon after that the sun was up and, having forgotten to close her drapes, she was awoken by the glare and her mind swung promptly back into high gear.  And now she needed to get up and somehow put the best face on the day that she could.

Arriving in the kitchen and knowing her mother would already be sitting out on the porch, Olivia lingered for several extra minutes around the stove, giving the boiling coffee time to set in dark and bitter.  As she emerged through the screen door her mother clicked her tongue several times before she spoke.

“You look dreadful.”

“You didn’t even look at me.”

“I didn’t need to.  Home late and up all night, it wasn’t a hard guess to make.”  With a turn of her head her mother continued, “and I can see now that I was correct.”

“It was you that told me to go for a walk.”

“Yes, yes I did.”  Finally offering a smile, her mother raised her own coffee mug in a half salute which made Olivia blush.  After that  the matter seemed to be closed as they switched into a discussion about the local ladies club and then later about where Olivia planned on finding another job.  After several more cups of coffee her mother announced herself ready for a nap and Olivia dressed and walked back into town.

Along the way she managed to put a few of the many things running through her head into order.  She was not going to go chasing Tom Drummond around, nor would she allow herself anymore thoughts about the two of them.  She had wanted to go over and check his house or ask at the bank where he could be found.  She had thought about doing just that for hours the night before, however she always came back to the feeling of finality which had passed between them on their final good-bye at the hotel.  Regardless of hopes and wishes, nothing could be done about that and she was now ready to accept that he was gone.  Or if not gone yet, then he soon would be and Olivia would not allow herself to be seen as any kind of desperate old maid.

hiawatha first national bank courtesy hiawathapics.com

hiawatha first national bank courtesy hiawathapics.com

As it turned out she was completely right about him being gone, and she never saw or heard from him again.   In fact, no one in Hiawatha ever did including the bank where he worked and left two hundred and forty seven dollars on deposit, all of which was never claimed.  On the few nights in the future when Olivia allowed herself to be particularity bitter she imagined that he had not even bothered to stay until the morning following their encounter.  Perhaps she literally was the last thing he needed to attend to on his way out of town.

… to be continued

Porcelain (Part 4)

Olivia considered that for several moments, a mixture of frustration and admiration swirling around inside her head.  It was nice to have men of honor around, however this particular bit of moral righteousness was interfering with her own happiness.  It had been a long time, many years of her poking around the edges of Tom’s life, he lingering around the edges of hers, all those years and nothing had been said by him.  Until now. Maybe there was something in that.

“This woman, you still love her then?”

Tom winced a bit when she spoke, clearly uncomfortable with the question.  He stayed silent, turning his head to her instead and shaking it in a brief but definite way.

“So, what’s the trouble then?  It surely cannot be impossible to get a divorce from her?  A bit unseemly for sure, but possible.”

“This is a very complicated thing Olivia, very complicated.  The woman, my wife I mean, she and I both come from rather prominent families in Rockland, ones that own much of the ship building business in that area.  Our marriage was arranged by our fathers, carefully planned you might say to keep our families connected and all the power consolidated.  It’s a plan that’s been followed for generations now.”

“Don’t you folks worry about all of that intermingling of your families?”

Tom looked at Olivia with amusement in his eyes.  “Are you trying to say we are inbreeds?”

Olivia flushed deeply and sputtered, “No, no, please, I,”

With a short laugh Tom cut her off, patting her hand and saying, “It’s okay, I was just having a little fun with you there.  And to answer the question, yes it is something we worry about.  We do know that issues can come from such arrangements and we try to avoid it.”

Olivia had taken her arm away from Tom’s to cover her cheeks, which were still bright red, holding them there as she spoke. “Don’t play with me like that, I really felt terrible.  And just how do you manage to avoid all of the problems?”

“Let’s stop here for a minute.”  As he spoke Tom sat down on a small bench that had been placed under one of the maple trees, reaching out for Olivia’s hand, an invitation to sit next to him.  As she arranged her dress after sitting he continued.

“Your question is one that has actually been part of our families conversations for years.  I am not sure we really have avoided all of the problems but we do try.  I should explain that there really are three families here, mine, the Lermond’s and then the Thomas clan.  They all go way back to the beginning in Rockland and they all own shipyards along with some other businesses such as foundries, sail lofts and lumber mills.  At whatever point it was, years ago, the men of these families decided that they wanted to consolidate all of the power among themselves and keep everyone else out.”

Olivia held up her hand.  “I find it hard to believe that any such men as these appear to be would share power so easily.  Men usually want it all for themselves.”

“Ah, a wise observation.  This whole agreement came about after all of the usual unpleasantness.  I guess no one could win and enough damage had been done. Since then though it has all gone remarkably well.”

“That’s unexpected.”

“I agree, but it’s true.  So, once they decided upon this arrangement they soon after understood that keeping the families basically marrying into each other could have some unwanted side-effects.  And that led to the shipyard Bible.”

“A Bible?  What…,” and then Olivia paused, putting her hand up again as Tom began to offer another comment.  He breathed deeply and then sat back as Olivia’s mind worked.

“The families, yours and the others, they keep the records there don’t they?  Who married who, and who’s children are related to whom?  Just like anyone’s family Bible, but one that is for all three?

Tom smiled, amused and impressed.  “You are a smart woman Olivia.  Yes, the shipyard Bible tracks every relationship within our families and it is kept by the eldest woman among the three.  When I left that was my great-grandmother Rebecca, and as far as I know it is still her.”

“And she decides who marries who?”

“Oh no, as I said, my father arranged my marriage.  Once such a thing is proposed, well that’s when the talking starts.  The Bible gets hauled out and then it’s an on-going conversation, some might call it an argument, until all of the potential conflicts are worked out.  It’s not a science, at least not where I am from.  We’ve had first cousins marry and third cousins end up getting denied.  I think half the benefit to it all is that sometimes the arguments go on so long that proposed marriages just fall apart.”

“That really makes no sense.  The whole thing I mean, it makes no sense.”

“Yes, I know, I really do.”

“And so you ended up married to this woman…”

“Eleanor, Eleanor Lermond.”

“You married her and now?”

“Yes, that’s the other part.  Once your married in our family, in our families that is, you stay married.”

“Until death?”

“After really.  You only get married once.”  He said this with a firm but sad finality, looking over at Olivia who met his eyes.  She understood now that her ultimate dream of someday having a life with him was not going to happen.  It was still interesting to her that Tom had taken this opportunity, not only to accept her mother’s invitation but to reveal that he did feel something for her.  What was it that had made him declare himself finally.  She kept working through that in her head while she talked.

“So, you weren’t happy then?”

“Dreadfully unhappy.  Eleanor is not a very, well not a very fun person.  Very straight-laced and uptight.”

“And so you left, ran away from your problem?”  Tom was silent for a moment after that and Olivia feared she had gone to far.  Maybe he was just going to get up and walk away?  Instead he sighed and replied.

“I guess that’s about what it was.  It’s happened before, to other unhappy husbands caught up in this arrangement.  Nobody seems to care if you go away, you just have to stay married.  Eleanor is likely much happier with me gone anyway, she can tend to all her domestic duties which she always takes so very seriously.”

Although he said this last sentence scornfully, there was also a trace of nostalgia in his voice.  Olivia figured that maybe he missed her after all, and then she knew.

“So, you’re going away then?  Back there?”

Tom, who had been leaning back into the bench, sat up immediately, a look of astonishment on his face.  “How could you have known that?”

Olivia did not care to explain it, her mind racing ahead.  “But you are going?”

Tom looked down at his feet and then up to meet her eyes.  “Yes.”

A panic had overtaken Olivia, one that brought a rush of what she would later call madness to her actions, and she reached out abruptly and grabbed Tom’s hand, pulling him over to her.  Thirty minutes later, and with no argument from Tom, they were discreetly in a hotel room.  Although their encounter was brief, and they parted ways immediately after, it did leave one consideration.  Olivia of course was pregnant.

… to be continued

Porcelain (Part 3)

Olivia gasped in surprise, her right hand fluttering slightly as she placed her teacup and saucer onto the porch railing.  Her cheeks flushed bright red as she stood up.

“He is coming over here?”

“Yes dear, over here.  I thought we might entertain him for supper this evening.”

“He agreed to that, to come over here?”

“I told you he did.”

Without another word Olivia bolted into the house while her mother settled back into the rocking chair with a faint smile on her face.  She remained sitting there until she saw Tom Drummond coming up the road, dressed as always in a nicely tailored brown suit and carrying a small bouquet of flowers.  He was a tall man for the time, standing over six feet and had the long legs and arms to match his height.  Although he walked with a slight limp, an after effect of a childhood dare, his stride was purposeful and strong and he was quickly on the porch, doffing his hat and offering the flowers to Olivia’s mother.  She took them without rising, patting his hand and remarking on his punctuality.  He then offered her his arm as she rose and they both walked into the house.

They found Olivia standing formally behind the large chair in the drawing room, dressed now in a delicate blue dress with cream lace accents and a high collar.  Her hair had been throughly brushed and was now pulled back on the sides and lay in gently curled ringlets down her back.  She gave a slight curtsey as Tom and her mother entered the room, offering him a seat with a wave of her hand.  After pouring drinks Olivia sat down also and pleasant conversation passed between the three of them, words that Olivia took directly to heart but that would have been unremarkable to most other people.

As they moved onto supper Tom lapsed into telling tales to Olivia’s mother, both about the journey out from Maine and his exploits in his younger years as a sheriff’s deputy in Virginia.  Olivia said little, eating her food in small bites just in case she had to speak up or offer a thought to the conversation.  That only happened once however, as she expressed her own desire to see the outlying parts of the Hiawatha community left as a buffer between the town and the Indian tribes in the area.  As Olivia served the dessert, a rhubarb pie made the day before from freshly harvested stalks, her mother took the opportunity to excuse herself, stating she was too full for dessert and too tired to try eating it in any case.  As she left the room she kissed her daughter gently on the cheek and offered her opinion that a walk might be a nice way to end the evening.

After she was gone Olivia sat down again and her and Tom ate the pie in relative silence except for his remark upon its delicious taste.  As she cleared the table he leaned back and looked at her until she stopped to return his gaze.

“It was an excellent meal Olivia and I thank you for having me here for it.  I enjoyed the company of you and your mother.”

“Thank you Tom, and it was a pleasure.”  The awkwardness of the moment was not lost on either of them, Olivia rubbing her hands together while Tom played with his watch chain.  Finally he stood up and extended his arm.

“A walk then?”

“Well, y, yes, yes,” Olivia stuttered in reply, “I just need to finish cleaning up.”

“It will wait, I am sure.  Let’s enjoy the evening before it gets too dark.”

Olivia paused, her pulse racing as she looked at Tom’s offered arm, then she collected herself as best she could and replied, “Yes, very well, let’s enjoy the evening.”

They stepped out onto Shawnee, Olivia wrapped again in her purple shawl, her left arm gently twined around Tom’s right.  They walked in silence for several blocks as she fought through a tangle of thoughts in her head; memories of the past, wishes and wants for the future, fear of rejection and lack of confidence in herself.  Finally she convinced herself that maybe, just this one time, it was worth it to to be bold.

“You know Tom, I often wonder about whether you truly have any interest in me.”  As she said it, Olivia could hardly believe she had summoned the courage to ask and her pulse was racing again, waiting on his reply.  He took a minute to do so, finally reaching over with his left hand and placing it on top of her arm as he spoke.

“I do Olivia, I do.  I actually have always had quite an interest in you.”

maple lined streets of hiawatha

maple lined streets of hiawatha

As he said this they turned onto Delaware, the sides of the road lined with some of the sturdy maple trees that had been such a prevalent part of the land when they arrived.  Olivia had been one of the settlers who advocated for keeping these trees in place whenever possible, and she thought of it as one of her major contributions to the town.  At the moment however she hardly noticed them, as Tom’s simple response had flooded her mind with new, but still very confusing thoughts.

“Why then have you always put us off, put me off?  I know I may have been a shrinking violet at times, however surely you could have made some of your intentions known.”

Tom stopped, turning to look at her, his eyes filled with a mixture of desire and remorse.

“I just cannot, I cannot pursue this intention toward you.”

Olivia returned only a slightly hurt look, waiting for him to continue.

“I cannot, as I am married, back east where I came from, I am married still to a woman from whom I have been unable to remove myself.”

… to be continued

Porcelain (Part 2)

She left quietly although not quickly, pausing several times as she gathered up her personal belongings to look at things within the store that had been such an integral part of her life.  Sam Potter might believe it a miracle that she had lasted as long as she did, however Olivia saw her time at Leaders to have been full of productivity and purpose.  She certainly had been the most reliable of all the employees that had come and gone over the years, going in on scant notice when others had become ill or abruptly moved from the Hiawatha community.  She also was still the only one who understood the inventory system in the back of the store, one that was carefully arranged not by product name but by demand and quality.  Olivia had labored over this system for many weeks and almost offered to try to explain it to Sam again as she paused at the door of the store on her way out for this last time.  She saw him peeking at her from his small office stall in the back, his thin, dusty brown hair scattered around his head in no particular order.  She paused and raised one hand, an offer almost, an offer to at least try to make him understand the basics of the system before he had to go back there hunting for hardtack or rope.  She decided against it however and left with a faint, “fair thee well.”

6th and oregon looking east 1909 courtesy hiawathapics.com

6th and oregon looking east 1909 courtesy hiawathapics.com

hiawatha library

hiawatha library

Walking home she headed east, which although it was the not the most direct route, did lead past the rose garden behind the public library.  Olivia liked to sit there in the middle of the garden, not looking around at the bushes or stuffing her nose into them, which is what nearly everyone else did, but leaning back on a bench, closing her eyes and smelling the subtle fragrances that mixed in the air.  The man who had planted the flowers was an experienced rosarian, a careful and meticulous man who tended the garden daily despite his own long work schedule at the bank.  He had brought his bulbs with him, along with a collection of live bushes, all of which he carefully tended through their arduous trip from Maine.  Olivia had watched him graft once, the man’s thick, dirty fingers tenderly trimming cuttings from his bushes before lopping off the flowers and most of the remaining stem, leaving just two or three leaves on a plain green stalk.  The man had given her a short lecture on how plants waste energy producing flowers, which seemed ridiculous to Olivia as she figured that was about what they were good for and supposed to do anyway.  The man did however have quite a talent for getting those cuttings to root and bloom.  His creations now filled the air in the garden with a mixture of musk, fruit and tender spice smells, and Olivia swore she smelled pepper sometimes which just brought a faint smile to the man’s face but never a reply or affirmation.  She sat longer than usual today and then headed home, arriving to find her mother sitting out on the porch in her usual rocking chair, a wool blanket wrapped around her legs to ward off the chill of the day.

“Home early today daughter?”  The lack of surprise in her mother’s voice gave away the fact that she must have already heard about the incident and its eventual outcome.  Olivia said nothing, passing by her mother with a soft pat to her shoulder and then going inside to put her things up and brew some tea.  When she emerged again she was wrapped in a purple shawl and carefully balancing two cups of camomile.  Placing one on the small table next to her mother, Olivia settled down into her own usual seat, a simple but comfortable straight-backed chair with a floral printed cushion.  No words passed between them for several minutes until her mother sighed, placed her tea back down and pointed out toward the road.

“A horse broke a leg out there today.  The carriage it was pulling lost an axle and overturned, that poor animal got twisted up in the harness.  I heard it break, sickening sound really.”  Her mother’s voice, deepened by age, cracked a little as she spoke, her general love of animals showing as always.  “They put it down quickly enough, but still sad to see.”

Olivia nodded in reply, uncertain if this story carried any other meaning.  After several minutes with no more details provided, she figured that was all that was going to be said about it.

“I won’t be going back to Leaders.”

“Hmm, interesting.  What happened?”

Olivia looked over at her mother, an eyebrow raised in question.

“I mean, how did it start dear.  Nobody told me that part yet.”

Olivia gave her mother the rest of the details, becoming slightly worked up again as she told the story.  When she got to the part where she had pulled the cowboy outside, her mother raised her hand to indicate that she knew the rest.

“So Sam Potter finally had enough of you then?”

“Really mother, that’s harsh don’t you think?”

“Not really.  You have always been too defensive about all of this town pride nonsense.  This place could use a few changes.”  A slight twinkle sparked in the woman’s grey eyes as she said this, looking over at her daughter to see her reaction.

Olivia huffed once before replying, her voice slightly raised and edgy.  “Our journey out here was difficult mother, as you know, difficult and trying.  It took everyone of us pulling together to reach this land and we have every right to be proud of it.  And we made this into a fine frontier town, the best if you ask me and plenty of others agree.”

“Plenty of others who were on the trip with you.”

“Them sure, but other people too, ones that pass through here and remark on how much we have done in such a short time.  It wouldn’t have been possible without all of us working together.”

“That and your bunch of fearless leaders.”

“They had the vision, the resources and the knowledge to make it all happen.  We certainly needed them.”

Her mother stayed silent after that, finishing up her tea which had gone cold but was no matter to her, as she had consumed plenty of cold tea in her life.  When she was done she carefully placed the blue and white china cup down on its saucer, which had several slight chips in the edges, memories of the travels her life had taken.  She looked up at her daughter and smiled.

“You should get ready then.”

“Ready for what mother.”

“Tom Drummond of course.  He’s coming over in one hour.”

… to be continued